Janky Town

Ummm

2007-03-25T23:43:00.000-07:00

This Blag is on hold for a bit...

MISTAH F.A.B. - GHOST RIDE THE WHIP (video)

2007-01-29T12:31:00.000-08:00

NEW DUMB! (design)

2007-01-25T02:45:00.000-08:00

LOOSIES (mp3)

2007-01-05T21:25:00.000-08:00

Rhek & Moves - Gone Dumb! The Mixtape Vol.1

Cool C - Glamorous Life (320kbs)

Buju Banton - Driver A (Taxi Riddim)

MOVES - GONE DUMB VOL.3 (design)

2007-01-05T21:08:00.000-08:00

GO DUMB! NEW YEARS BAAAALLLINNN!!! (design)

2007-01-05T21:07:00.000-08:00

GO DUMB! STUNNA SHADES & SANTA CLAUS HAT XMAS PARTY (design)

2006-12-21T02:48:00.000-08:00

WAR IS NOT THE IVERSON

2006-12-20T00:55:00.000-08:00

By this guy

ONLY 24 (writing)

2006-12-11T19:06:00.000-08:00

WHY DID THE MONKY FALL OUT THE TREE?
He was dead.

“I’m my own element. Like, if this was a bowl of fruit, I’d probably be a watermelon. You know what I mean?
See, because Wu-Tang is like nine members. So one is a banana, grape, orange, pear – you know what I mean? I said watermelon ’cos I like watermelon. It’s nice.”
-Ghostface Killah

As of November, T.I.’s “King” was the only rap album to go platinum in 06. Maybe it’s because Latin broads and China dolls don’t know how to download music. Still, the 4th Quarter was heavy with rap releases this year so lets bring em out:

L’il Wayne & Baby “Like Father Like Son”
I didn’t actually hear this collabo but I did see the picture of them kissing each other on the lips. The claim it’s on some black mafia shit but really only gays kiss each other on the lips which is fine, but is black mafia the new gay then? Whatever.

The Game “The Doctors Advocate”
This album was aight but, like Bastid says, every song is basically “Yo blood, Dre told me that Snoop said that Scott Stortch is gonna bring Eazy-E to my birthday party”. Too much name droppingness. Grow up.

Jay-Z “Kingdom Come”
This was not very good – lyrically the ugly guy with the hot girlfriend was pissing his pants and crapping the bed like a 3-year-old alcoholic. Hmmmm, I just thought of a moderately funny name – Peter Pants. Sorry.

Project Pat “Crook By The Book: The Fed Story”
If Jay-Z is a bad lyricists than Project Pat is the baddest lyricist everist. Except that he’s awesome cause I like ignorant music. His choruses are hilarious and he’s got one of the most original styles in all of rap. Dope.

Ludacris “Release Therapy”
Luda albums are usually like a good funny sitcom because he’s a good funny emcee. Usually I can listen to his album 3 or 4 times like a The Simpsons episode but I don’t really care about watching this album again. Skip.

AZ “The Inspiration”
Damn, I was really hoping this album was gonna be better. There are some jams on here and he can rap really good but I wanted more better. “Royal Salute” kills shit though.

Nas “Hip Hop Is Dead”
From a DJ perspective this album is both useless and adult contemporary. On the other hand – Wow, Nas is probably the best actual rapper in the world right now.

Snoop “The Blue Carpet Treatment”
I think that this album is good but I can’t remember anything about it other than producer Rick Rock is obsessed with the Digable Planets and is “Vato” an anti-Latino song? Fizzle.

Young Jeezy “The Inspiration: Thug Motivation 102”
I didn’t used to like this guy but now I think his retarded style is hilarious, his extra retarded ad-libs are extra hilarious and he had good beats on his first album. This, however, is his second album.

Ghostface “More Fish”
This album is dope, it’s basically a Theodore Unit posse album but Ghost and Trife kill it. The crews cracker rapper, Sean Wigg, on the other hand, needs to be killed. He does a song about playing poker for fucks sake.

Clipse “Hell Hath No Furry”
This is so much the best album of the year that it doesn’t matter that they rock Bathing Ape gear which is pretty much nursery school patterns on adult clothes made by a Japanese who collects toys and is endorsed by American crack dealers and falsetto singers who then inspire rich white kids and young Asians world wide how to dress ugly without thinking. Serious – this album has it all – beats, rhymes and no filler, no fluff.

Done cause I didn’t care enough to hear the new Lloyd Banks, Fat Joe, Eminem’s Re-Up project or the Diddy. Shows. Q-Bert is Dec.23 at Richards. Snoop & Ice Cube is Jan.13 at Pacific Coliseum. Also, my Go Dumb! New Years at the Columbia is the place to be on Sunday, Dec. 31st.

Lastly, it’s December so RIP Lee Avers Matasi & Alexis Mazurin.

------------------------------------
This collum is published monthly in Only Magazine (http://www.onlymagazine.ca)

GO PROJECT PAT! (design)

2006-12-06T02:23:00.000-08:00

MORE GHOSTFACE (mp3)

2006-11-30T01:53:00.000-08:00

Ghostface f/Amy Winehouse - You Know I'm No Good (10.1MB/320kbs/SendSpace)

PHOTOSHOP FUNNIES

2006-11-30T01:49:00.000-08:00

REAL PEOPLE OF IGNORANCE (mp3)

2006-11-23T16:22:00.000-08:00

Friend Of A Rapper

Tattoo
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Avaliable here

ALBUM COVER KNOCK OFFS (random)

2006-11-23T04:27:00.000-08:00

Here

Q-BERT FLYER (design)

2006-11-23T04:23:00.000-08:00

Q-Bert show flyer design by me.

EDIT: Had to change it to incorporate a X-Mas theme and to correct some oversights.

FINAL EDIT

CHRIS WEBBER

2006-11-14T19:08:00.000-08:00

Produces song number 8 on Nas new album "Hip Hop Is Dead: The N Word"

1. Don’t Hate Me Now (produced by Salaam Remi)
2. QB Tru G’s featuring The Game (produced by Dr. Dre)
3. Black Republican featuring Jay-Z (produced by L.E.S.)
4. Where Y’all At (produced by Salaam Remi)
5. Play on Playa featuring Snoop Dogg (produced by Scott Storch)
6. Still Dreaming featuring Kanye West & Chrisette Michelle (produced by Kanye West)
7. White Man’s Paper featuring Damien Marley (produced by Afrikan)
8. Blunt Ashes (produced by Chris Webber)
9. Hip-Hop Is Dead featuring will.i.am.(produced by will.i.am)
10. Where Are They Now (produced by Nas and Salaam Remi)
11.Let There Be Light featuring Tre Williams (produced by Kanye West)
12. Not Going Back featuring Kelis (produced by Star Gate)
13. Can’t Forget About You featuring Chrisette Michelle (produced by will.i.am)
14. Hold Down the Block (produced by Mark Batson)

YUNG CHRYST - HARDCORE CHRISTIAN RAP (mp3)

2006-11-14T17:00:00.000-08:00

Jesus Juice (256kbs/3.3MB/SendSpace)

WILLY CHIN AGAIN MIX CD (mp3)

2006-11-14T15:57:00.000-08:00

Willy Chin from the mighty Black Chiney sound crew put this cd out sometime this year. It's basicaly all exclusive dancehall dubs that big up Willy Chin and it's hillariously awesome. Seriously, every song is about Willy Chin.

Willy Chin - Willy Chin Again Mix Cd (78.62MB/182kbs(VBR)/SendSpace)
For track list click here (this mp3 is just one long track though).

RUFF SQWAD (mp3)

2006-11-13T13:44:00.000-08:00

I hate British rap and this is the corniest song ever made but today I like it for no reason.
Ruff Sqwad - Died In Your Arms (4.6MB/170kpbs/SendSpace)

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO PRETTY TONEY - PT.2 (video)

2006-11-04T15:03:00.000-08:00

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO PRETTY TONEY (video)

2006-11-04T14:39:00.000-08:00

BUCKIN' (video)

2006-11-02T02:16:00.000-08:00

Buckin' is the new rave dance except it's waaaay more gangsta and it's from Memphis not Fruity Pebble Land.

*There's a gazillion buckin video's on youtube if you wanna try and learn yourself

GHOST WALK IT OUT (mp3)

2006-11-02T01:24:00.000-08:00

Ghostface over the Juice beat - Ghost Is Back (clean)

Dj UNK feat. Andre, Jim Jones & Big Boi - Walk It Out RMX (dirty)
*Andre rips it dope on this song but as Rico pointed out he just sorta raps from a old white dude's perspective and disses black people for wearing tall tee's and having shitty toy cars. Jim Jones really shits the bed on his verse.
**sorry if the mp3's don't stream properly - they're hosted at sendspace which gets sorta janky - i'mma move them to somewhere where they'll play when i get around t0 o doing that.

RHEK & MOVES - GONE DUMB

2006-10-30T23:37:00.000-08:00

My first mixtape but Moves has done a bunch before. I'll post up a link to it as soon as I sell some real copies.

JAPANESSE ARE DIFFERENT

2006-10-27T19:59:00.000-07:00

GO DUMB! BANNER

2006-10-27T13:40:00.000-07:00

I just learned myself how to make animated .GIF's like these. Wooooo! for me.

FUNNY'S

2006-10-25T16:28:00.000-07:00

CLIPSE feat. SLIM THUG - WAMP WAMP (video)

2006-10-24T09:34:00.000-07:00

RETURN OF THE PURPLE TAPE SHIRT

2006-10-18T17:08:00.000-07:00

Avaliable on Raekwon's myspace

BRAIN DRAIN (writing)

2006-10-13T01:43:00.000-07:00

The Drunken Arseholes Return.

Poo poo pee pee ca ca doo doo. Worst intro ever. My brain is sorta completely mushed up as a result of my new weekly, Go Dumb! Saturday night at the Columbia, which are stupid doo doo dumb fun. Check us out. No cover. Five dollar doubles and a packed house. You know how on game shows like Family Feud you can choose to pass - what if you could do that in real life. Awesomeness. That’s what that’d be. Potato salad brain. I got it and the mayonnaise is getting rancid. Rap news. No Dre production on Games new album but I’m feeling the beat and the Junior Reid on his street single “It’s Okay (One Blood)”. Locally, my people, Moves & Cee!!!!!!!! aka The Drunken Arseholes, are dropping their sophomore LP “Rural Pimps” this month and it’s the most original, honest and bugged out music coming out of Canada right now. Pure Nova Scotian insanity from true rap characters. Heat. Cop it. Also POSer’s Triforce Omega have a new album out too.

Vancouver, BC Shows.
Bone Thugs & Harmony, my favorite R&B group (besides New Edition) are somehow playing here on Friday October 26th at Plush. I didn’t really like them when they first came out but now I think their sing song thug style is amazing. Plus they’ve got silly names like the seven dwarfs. Still, I wonder how many of them are actually gonna make it across the border to perform. I’m feeling like 2 bucks right now which is not even enough to ride the bus. Okay, let’s see. Ummm, Lenny Diko and his UIYB crew have an open mic rap night at the Cobolt of all places on a Tuesday but I’m not sure of how often it happens each month. But if you wanna try performing then it’s worth investigating. Spectrum’s got a busy month with Zion I, Classified and The Grouch on the 19th, Madlib, PB Wolf, Percee P and other Stone Throwers on the 21st, Lyrics Born, Cut Chemist and Pigeon John on the 24th, Jurassic 5 and Rhymefest on the 29th & 30th, and Lady Sovereign on November 10th. Emotionz is throwing the Rent Money 2 freestyle battle on the 21st at the Pic with $1000- in cash and prizes to be won. Get at him to register if you think you can take it. Most importantly, the best personality in rap, Devin The Dude from Houston is playing on Halloween Tuesday at Richards On Richards. He’s honestly the best so be sure to catch this guaranteed good show.

My brain just decided to quit so enjoy the Bar Mitzvah. I’ll be better latter.

DRUNKEN ARSEHOLES - RURAL PIMPS (design)

2006-10-06T18:27:00.000-07:00

TOP 5 THINGS TO SAY BEFORE THEY ELECTROCUTE YOU IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR

2006-10-06T15:19:00.000-07:00

5. Is this thing on?
4. Pull over, I gotta pee.
3. This party sucks.
2. Are we there yet?
1. I'm ready to apologize now.

GHOSTFACE - MY GUITAR & JOSEPHINE (mp3)

2006-10-06T14:36:00.000-07:00

Ghostface - My Guitar

Hi-Tek - Josephine (Ft. The Willie Cottrell Band, Ghostface & Pretty Ugly)

I'm just tryna figure out how you get mp3's to play in this thing. I think this works. If you want the songs you can grab them here and here.

TOP 5 NOT EXTREME SPORTS

2006-10-06T14:19:00.000-07:00

5. Shoplifting
4. Shucking Corn
3. Spreading STD's
2. Feeding Orphans
1. Wearing A Hat

TOP 5 THINGS THAT SOUND LIKE SEXY FUN BUT AREN'T

2006-10-05T14:57:00.000-07:00

5. Jerk Chicken
4. Tounge In Cheek
3. Child Rearing
2. Brown Baggin' It
1. Missionary

WU-TANG SOUL BREAKS MIX (mp3)

2006-10-02T16:28:00.000-07:00

Here.

KILLER MIKE - I PLEDGE ALLEGENCE TO THE GRIND (mp3)

2006-10-02T15:45:00.000-07:00

Pretty dope shit.

IS THIS RASCIST? (video)

2006-10-02T15:18:00.000-07:00

Terrible anyway you cut it (except that Fried Chicken is delicious). [I think I secretly love this song anyway though]

5 RANDOM BREAKS FROM MOVES(mp3)

2006-09-29T00:32:00.000-07:00

Moves likes these:
1.Collage - Get In Touch With Me
2.Funk Inc - Kool Is Back
3.Jack Wilkins - Red Clay
4.Donald Byrd - Think Twice
5.Cerrone - Rocket In The Pocket Live

DANCEHALL CRACKER (video)

2006-09-29T00:29:00.000-07:00

White people don't know shit about Dancehall Soundclashes - except for this guy.

GO DUMB! SATURDAYS (design)

2006-09-26T18:30:00.000-07:00

New Poster Design - new night. Gone Dumbest.

More Weird Al - Trapped (mp3)

2006-09-26T05:01:00.000-07:00

Ummm, this is a pretty funy R.Kelly thingy.

Trapped In The Drive Thru

WILLIE D - CLEAN UP MAN (video)

2006-09-24T15:12:00.000-07:00

Ya gotta check the guy who sings the chorus - it's mucho funny.

GHOSTFACE DOLL (video/mp3)

2006-09-21T21:55:00.000-07:00

He’s even rocking the robe and you can even get him the gold eagle for an additional $100. All this is great except the doll costs $500.
* Real 14 karat gold chain
* Real GFK Robe
* Gold Chalice with Swarovski crystals
* Each doll will include a Ghostface Killah Doll mixtape by a world-famous DJ tba
* Real 14 karat gold avenging eagle accessory (extra)
* Each collector will have a 1 in 500 chance to spend a day with Ghostface Killah himself
* Each Doll will come in a limited edition gold sealed box
* Ghostface Killah is fully involved in all aspects of the project from manufacturing to promotion
* Each Doll speaks original recordings of Ghostface Killah catch-phrases

More info at http://theghostfacedoll.com and http://4castlimited.com.

Here's his new song - Return Of The Iron Man

Classic Ghost right here - Mighty Healthy

WEIRD AL - WHITE & NERDY (video)

2006-09-21T18:15:00.000-07:00

Weird Al has been hillarious for like 200 years now.

FEELIN MYSELF GO DUMB (mp3)

2006-09-21T18:05:00.000-07:00

Cam Crillz aka FWUH Diddy aka Big Diddy Kane aka aackbar made this mix of Hyphy songs so I'mma steal his link and post it here. There's some classic slappers and blaps on it (whatever that means).

Feelin' Myself: The New Bay Movement
(192 kbs/104MB )
01. Mac Dre - Feelin' Myself
02. Keak Da Sneak - Super Hyphy
03. Husalah - Cuttin It Up feat. B-Luv
04. The Pack - Vans (Remix) feat. Too $hort & Mistah F.A.B.
05. Traxamillion - Sideshow feat. Too $hort & Mistah F.A.B.
06. DJ Shadow - Turf Dancing feat. The Federation & Animaniaks
07. Mistah F.A.B. - Super Sic Wit It feat. E-40 & Turf Talk
08. Husalah - Sleep With Da Fishes (Boom Clack)
09. Federation - Only Wear My White Tee Once
10. E-40 - The Dummy feat. Stress-Matic
11. Mistah F.A.B. - Ghost Ride It
12. Dubee A.K.A. Suga Wolf - It's The Crest
13. Haji Springer - Hello Buddy feat. Keak Da Sneak & San Quinn
14. Gorilla Pits - Scrapin' feat. Mistah F.A.B.
15. Federation - I Wear My Stunna Glasses At Nite feat. E-40
16. E-40 - Dumb Hyphy
17. Husalah - Ways And Means (This Is Dope)
18. Mac Dre - Boss Tycoon feat. Yukmouth
19. Keak Da Sneak - Town Buziness
20. Yukmouth - Get Stupid Go Dumb feat. Mac Dre & Sauce

Downolad: http://www.sendspace.com/file/eaquov

NINTENDO REMIX (mp3)

2006-09-21T17:57:00.000-07:00

Young Rico put me on to this (mp3). It's nintendo versions of rap songs and it's hillarious. Tugboat made it.

THE DELFONICS (mp3)

2006-09-17T18:10:00.000-07:00

La-La Means I Love You: The Definitive Collection

WEAPON X (video)

2006-09-16T14:21:00.000-07:00

HELLO BUDDY (mp3)

2006-09-16T14:02:00.001-07:00

Haji Springer - Hello Buddy mp3

FRINGE FESTIVAL 06 (design)

2006-09-14T22:55:00.000-07:00

I painted this for a Fringe Festival auction. I was mad hungover when I decided to paint little alcohol bottles and a couple fried chicken drumsticks. I dunno - I don't got a lot to say about it - I barley remeber it but someone bid on it so that's good for me. The photo sorta sucks though.

Detail:

TWO PACK (mp3)

2006-09-14T21:38:00.000-07:00

If My Homies Call (mp3)

DEVIN THE DUDE - POSTER/FLYER DESIGN (design)

2006-09-14T21:05:00.000-07:00

MOKA ONLY - THE STATION AGENT LAYOUT (design)

2006-09-14T21:03:00.002-07:00

SANDWICHES & UNICORNS (writing)

2006-09-14T21:03:00.001-07:00

What Do You Do With A Blue Moneky?
Buy Me A Booze.

Willie Poop. That’s a funny name. I’m allergic to being broke and my allergies are acting up. The funny thing is that if I had lots of money - I’d be rich. Then I could buy a pony. Pony’s, besides being a sorta useless giant pet, cost a lot of money to take care of. You don’t just get a pony cause one followed you home. You need a ranch and a trainer and organic carrots and stuff. But if I had a pony I’d let him get fat and lazy like me. I’d call him Unicef and I’d attach a tip jar on his horse head like a Unicorn’s horn. Also when I’m rich I’m only gonna eat shrimp. At those cook at your table sushi places they got Japanese cooks who can flip shrimp into your mouth. I’d buy one of those guys. Also those little frozen pizza’s are the shit.

So, who wants to be a rapper? Too many people. There’s far too many rappers today. We need more rap fans and less kids who freestyle at me. More White kids need to start playing guitar again – that’s a real skill to have. You can entertain at campfires and you can grow your hair long and your mom can say “… and no guitar for a week!” when you get grounded. Being able to go, “I’m flipping the shit and ripping the shit and dipping the shit and taking a shit - straight off the dome, yo!” while imitating a rapper you saw on a SMACK DVD is not a real practical skill. Seriously. And anyway, if you wanna be a real rapper now you gotta pay your dues as a crack dealer. Crack dealers are the new rap superstars. Crack and rap go together like tiny old Chinese ladys who’s language you can’t understand and empty beer cans worth a nickel. And if you 13 and you live with your two Dads who still take you to soccer camp than, technically, you’re not a “hustler” yet.

Rap albums to look out for. New Clipse. New Raekwon. New Nas. New Az. New Project Pat. New going more dumb. It’s back to school time so I guess that means that I’m still unemployed. Summer was good. Bar-b-que’s are the shit. We need more street drinking here though. In Montreal basically all you do is drink in the streets 24/7 cause no one knows how to party harder than depressed alcoholics. You can trust me on that or you can join me on that. What’s up with skateboarding coming back? Even ethnic kids are into it. I guess it’s funner than doing homework. My boy Matt’s got a new T-shirt line out called Finale (www.finaledesign.com). Jihad.

Shows. Live rap every Weekend Wednesday at the Pic with the Killing Time/DDR guys. DJ Assault is bringing his unique brand of filthy sex bass music to the Colombia this Saturday the 16th for the Kids night. If you’re a guy and you rock a pink Bandana than you probably already knew about this. Also POS & DDR are rocking @ The Spot Monday’s at Sonar on the 18tth. As well peep the 604 Hip Hop Expo – lotta different stuff happening at it including a Clash, some learning and our favorite TV cop – Ice T (more info at www.604hiphopexpo.com). Plus my very own Welfare Party presents Menace II Sobriety will return shortly (RIP Tokyo Lounge).

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car. Robin, get in the car.

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Top 5 Things Not To Put In Your Mouth:

1.Fire
2.Butcher Knife
3.Fiber Glass Insulation
4.Bumble Bee
5.A Couch

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BONUS:
Would you eat this Sandwich?

WHAT MONKEY? (writing)

2006-09-14T21:02:00.001-07:00

No - your other left. Over there.

You know who never gets older? Underage girls. Yep. And if they eat with chopsticks? Underasians. And if they live in Laguna Beach? Caucasians. When did Poppin Trunk Neons Glow Princess Cut Invisible Set become something that people say? Who? Ike Turner! Loud Mouth Grills by Martini now available at Dipt but for real - if you aint the type who can rock em right (ie: Trill) then they just gonna make you look like a special kid (and not special in the good way). Summers coming so get to Army Navy for all your west coast Dickie short needs. California raisins. Thats what Im gonna look like when Im older. Like a Firetruck with sunglasses on. Gully.

I copped a Kid N Play Funhouse cd the other day. On the back, Kids rocking a Malcolm X Fan Club shirt. What you know about that? Has anyone ever met anyone whos both a Native and a Jewish? We gotta make one of those.

Enough with the plugs - on to the jokes. What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? Oh man, what could it be? Its gotta be something awful if its an MJ joke. Give up? They both come on little white crackers. Pause. Oh snap, no he didnt. Yes he did, yes he did. Terrible, terrible, funny. Duck, duck, goose. Say it out loud. Joke courtesy of that guy, Jay O Smooth, who got it from some other guy. Im balling like Jesus Christ on the cross. Or at least like Nas playing Jesus Christ while rapping on a cross while wearing an iced out cross. Do people wear other ill shit like Platinum Atom Bombs and Mushroom Clouds chains? Lord Willing by the Clipse is as Christian as I get. The Clipse are my shit. The Clipse U Akbar. Jose Cuervo, nahwhutimsayin though.
The new Mobb Deep Blood Money got some good cuts on it. I recommend Pearly Gates, Capital P Capital H and Creep. Weed is now grass (again) and everyone else kicks the most worst rap shit compared to Bandana Ps verse.

THAT AIN'T A MONKEY ON YOUR BACK (writing)

2006-09-14T21:02:00.000-07:00

Thats Donkey Kong

Dear Diary. White people and black people are different. White people live in Vancouver and Chinese people consider Chinese Food to just be food. I think. Like if you were raised and born in one of the Chinese countries, no one there says, Hey lets go for some Chinese tonight. No. Why would they say that? They probably just say Hey, who wants to go and get some food to eat. Right? And what the hey, lets eat it with some sticks just because. Those full face sun visors they got are dope though. Megs has a theory that if you live downtown you mainly walk east-west and if you live in not down town then you do more north-south maybe. Think about it. Now stop. Watch. Is very Bling Bling. Look at that weirdo. Have you ever heard Reggae music? It hates Babylon big time.

Camrons Killa Season movie/DVD is now out and wow - its really pushing some cinematic boundaries in its flawless and brutally honest portrayal of what Camron would do if he made a real bad ghetto movie that went no where. Hes official nice while the rest of us are Fisher Price. Also, maybe Camron listens to Camron too much. Though his other choices are listening to the guy named after the guy who invented poisoned Kool Aide or the guy who can only rhyme words with bandana. Canines film festival get ready for the Dips. No one else is ready. Id really like to see Ebert and the new guy whos not the dead guy sit through the 3 hours of your life that this movie takes from you. What would they think? Would they enjoy the scene where Camron has mercy on a little girl and, instead of shooting her dead, he just spits on her? Do you like that Ebert? How about the coke mule / pooping girls scene? Do you like that Other Guy? And why does Camron have that weird apostrophe in his name anyway?

Whats that? Thats craaaaaack. Professor X died a little while ago but dont ever forget about X Clan. Wanna see a giant, maybe 17 feet tall inflatable Westside hand? Then go see Ice Cube next time he comes here. Cause hes got one. Giant inflatable things are gangsta. Spare Rolex? Morning after pills? Its officially dice season. Four, five, six or back door Lil Joe. I went to the horse track last week and won $25.20 on Louie Downtown for the win and the show. All the other funny horse names I bet on lost. Inni Meeni Minimo and Sudden Carnage are dead to me. Dead like horses. Whens the last time you slapped into a 69? Ghostride your wife.

Ummm, hot dogs on Robson street still good. Did you ever notice that when it used to rain and you were on the Hastings bus going past the party district that the only people who had the umbrellas were the drug dealers? Also, remember when all the drug dealers had the same huge brown Rocawear hoodie from Army Navy? Speaking of which, Army Navy has a new shipment of ECKOS gear in, which is a hilarious bootleg of Ecko Unlimited. Mark Ecko (not his real name) recently proved himself to be an idiot by pretending to tag Air Force one in some sort of fake street cred scam. Chinese ladies who collect bottles and cans have street cred. Mark Ecko pees his pants and has wet dreams about being accepted. Mark Ecko needs one of those full face sun visors that cover your full face. Chinese women wear them. Mark Ecko is the new Chinese woman and hes a disgrace to everyone everywhere. Word to met life the IRS can suck my books. What does it mean when you get a letter that says your EI is exhausted? Does it just take a short break and come back? I love you I miss you.

TOP 5 JAMS NOT TO PUT ON A LOVE JAMS CD
1. Whoop That Trick DJ from Hustle & Flow
2. Wildflower Ghostface Killah
3. Cheese And Dope Project Pat
4. Cheatin Gril Steady B
5. That Girl Is A Slut Just-Ice
6. Findum, Fuckem & Flee NWA
7. Cocaine Blues Johnny Cash